Riding With God

So, I was riding my bike along the river as I do most Sunday mornings, sweating and pumping and daydreaming a little, I suppose, when, suddenly, a voice spoke to me very clearly. “Watch out for that chuckhole!” Instinctively I swerved, knowing that it didn’t matter to which side. If the voice had said “pothole,” I’d have likely panicked, but chuckholes are by definition pretty small. The danger was easily avoided. And so began today’s talk with God…

“Where are you?” I asked. “I am here,” God replied. “There has never been a time or a place that I could not so answer, to those capable of asking.”

Recognizing this as a unique opportunity, I decided to be bold. “I had a few things I’ve wanted to talk to you about. Do you have a little time to visit while I ride?” “Of course,” God replied. “I have all the time in the world.”

“Keep your eye on the path,” God said gently. “Oh, so you know I’ve been studying Taoism and Buddhism?” I asked. “Of course,” God replied. “There is nothing about you that I don’t know.” Suddenly I felt the surface change beneath my wheels as the ground suddenly transitioned with a bump from smooth pavement to rocks and grass. I snapped my focus back to my course, and realized I’d continued straight when the track turned. I wrestled my bike back onto the trail, worried that I’d broken the connection…

“Like I said,” God chuckled. “Keep your eye on the path. Your Buddhism calls it ‘Right mindfulness.’”

“Oh, thanks,” I answered. “I was afraid you’d left me.” “I never leave you,” God said. “I couldn’t if I wanted to. You are part of me, and I am all of you. How could I leave you?” Hmmm, food for thought, I thought to myself. “One would hope so,” God replied.

“Keep your eye on the path,” God repeated, as I nearly missed a monstrous dip in the roadway. “Or else park your bike and be still. You’re making me nervous.” “Really?” I asked. “No, of course not,” God laughed aloud. “I was pulling your leg. I don’t get nervous – that’s a human frailty and I don’t have such weaknesses.” “Oh,” I responded meekly.

“You’ve done walking meditation,” God said. “Think of this as riding meditation. Pay sufficient attention to your course, and the balance to our conversation, and ignore anything else that comes along.” “Do you think I can do that?” I asked. “You can do anything your mind and body will allow,” God replied. “This is well within your capabilities.” Woo hoo, God expressing confidence in me. Talk about a pick-me-up…

“So, tell me what you want to talk about,” God prompted. “Don’t you know?” I asked half jokingly, not considering at the time I might be putting myself in line for a smiting. “Of course I do,” God replied. “And don’t be a wise ass. You’re the one who formulated this exchange as a conversation, and I’m finding it interesting. If you don’t want to talk, just say the word. I’ve got plenty of other things I can be doing.” “No, no,” I pleaded. “I’m sorry for smarting off and I do want to talk, really I do.” “Ok, then,” God said. “Let’s talk.”

“Well, yesterday at my AA meeting the topic was faith and forgiveness,” I began. “I’ve gotten fairly good at forgiveness, I think, but have never been big on faith. I mean, to me it’s a weakness – nothing more than a combination of baseless belief and human will. Am I wrong?”

“Are we having this conversation?” God asked in an amused tone. “Well,” I stammered. “It certainly seems to me that we are. But it’s all in my head, really. Isn’t it?” “And what has that got to do with anything?” God asked. “Everything that you know and think you know or have seen or heard or experienced or ever will experience is in your head, now isn’t it?” “That’s where I process and save these events,” I admitted. “But that doesn’t mean they didn’t happen, does it?” Of course not,” God laughed aloud. “The whole ‘realism’ versus ‘idealism’ argument, eh? I find it quite amusing. I mean, not that it is totally without validity, but humans have an entertaining habit of taking valid philosophical constructs to hilarious extremes. Don’t you think?”

Suddenly I had an epiphany as if struck by a bolt from the blue. “You laughed,” I shouted. “And that’s not the first time.” God snorted at this. “Of course I laughed,” God gasped while regaining control. “Why wouldn’t I?” “But, that means you have a sense of humor,” I exclaimed. “That’s a human emotion.” “Is it?” God suddenly turned serious. “Isn’t it?” I replied. “”Well of course not,” God chuckled again. “Many sentient beings have a sense of humor besides humans. Have you never watched animals play tricks on one another? Of course you have. Cats and dogs and monkeys and squirrels and birds. And these are only a few in your world. Humor and laughter, or what you call laughter, is universal. The best human word for it is joy. All of higher beings capable of emotion experience this, precisely because it is one of my primary characteristics.” “Really?” This was starting to get quite interesting…

“So, do you get sad?” I asked. “No, that one is more rare,” God replied. “I know what your sadness is, of course, because it is part of me. And other beings both in your world and others feel sadness. But, no, I don’t feel sadness.”

“What about anger?” I asked. “Nope, no anger.” “But the Bible talks about you being a wrathful and vengeful God,” I challenged. “Oh, please,” God laughed again. “Do you believe everything you read?” “But the Bible is your inspired word, according to its believers.” “You are toying with me,” God said. “This is a good time for you to be thankful I am not the vengeful God of your human Bible. You don’t believe the Bible, or the Koran, or the Torah, or any of the other scriptures of any of the world’s religions, and its disingenuous for you to pretend to defend them.” “So,“ I replied. “None of them are true?” “All of them have truths in them,” God explained patiently. “But no, none of them are fully true, and how could they be?”

Confused, I asked God to explain.

“First, you need to slow down a bit. You're pulling ahead of your friends and they'll think you're trying to leave them behind. Friends are important to you, you know." True, I thought. "True dat," God laughed. "I really like that expression."

"Now, keep your eye on the path,” he directed. “And I’ll explain the tiny bit about me that you’re capable of understanding.”

And so I rode and listened…