Coffee, Tea, or Texas?

Warning - this post may contain language that is offensive to some readers. If it makes you feel any better, its offensive to me, too!

This was a momentous week in many ways, but mostly political. The Texas primaries were on Tuesday, and the much vaunted battle between Texas senior Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison and Gov. Rick "Goodhair" Perry ended with a fizzle rather than a bang. Very disappointing. And the fact that my favorite, that whacked out wild woman from Wharton, Deborah Medina of Tea Party fame, garnered less than 20 percent, was doubly disappointing. I had great hopes that the Tea Party activists would be more effective than they've proven to be in driving a stake into the heart of the ossifying but still sharp-fanged Republican Party here in Texas and the south. Alas, it is not to be. They are indeed nothing more than I feared they were from the outset - a screaming gaggle of angry underclass whites afraid of the clean articulate black man who has taken up residence in the White House, and of socialism, which ceased being a threat to America almost two decades ago. Ah, well...

This election year is a big deal, though. At least to me. I have said for a good while now that I don't expect to grow old and retire and die here in Texas. My home state is a land of hate-filled, racist, Bible-thumping fundamentalists who revel in their ignorance and revile the educated. It is certainly a recipe for success for the likes of Perry, but disaster for my children and theirs, should they choose to have them. I heard a comment somewhere this week that not only do conservatives hold to the notion that the earth is 6,000 years old, but that the the dinosaurs were on the ark with Noah, his merry crew, and the lions and tigers and bears. Oh my! And for those of you who don't live here, let me tell you that is absolutely plausible (that people here believe it - not that its true.) We have some of the worst air in the nation, and Perry has sued the EPA to keep them from cleaning it up. Yes, really!

The worst part is that I once loved Texas with undying devotion. My childhood was idyllic - living on the edge of the suburbs, riding my bike or friends' horses out into the countryside for hours on end, playing kick-the-can until it was too dark to see on summer evenings, chasing fireflies which were always in abundance back then, playing sandlot baseball and football back on the field we constructed on the Cloud farm over the barbed wire fence that initially demarcated our property. Being the only Catholic in the neighborhood, I didn't get to enjoy the heady experience of Vacation Bible School or church camp, but we scouted and played sports together with the Baptists and Church of Christers (called themselves "Christians," I think)

Nigger jokes were more common than Aggie jokes back then, and I only had the slightest twangs of conscience when my playmates would heckle good-natured old Arthur, an older black fellow who used to walk up and down our block on the way to and from the bus stop every day. Not knowing where he lived but knowing now the bus routes, am guessing he had at least a two mile walk each way. "Hey Arthur," our oldest and most racist neighbor would shout. "Why take the bus? Wouldn't you rather drive a Fal-coon?" Guffaw. (For those too tender in years, the Ford Falcon was one of the workhorses of the fleet - we went through two in my family - great cars. And coon was a pejorative term for African-Americans probably pretty well gone now, except in east Texas and maybe Mississippi...)

Anyway, you get the drift. Nobody in Texas would have dared question a single word of the Bible aloud back then. Madalyn Murray O'Hair was the outrage of the day, and I do remember her name being bandied about, although I was only six or seven when that evil woman got prayer kicked out of schools. It was probably about the same time that I actually met face-to-face my first black child. My brother and I were playing on the nickel merry-go-round in front of Piggly Wiggly when a cute black kid about our age showed up and started talking and playing with us. I don't remember the details of the incident very well, only that at some point my brother and I were fighting about something, which was the norm, and one of us called the other a nigger, which was also quite usual. Except we'd never met a black other than Arthur, and had never uttered the word in front of one. I don't really remember the upshoot of the incident - there were no adults to witness, I know. I'm pretty sure we were more shocked than our black playmate. I vividly recall being mortified - know that it sunk in and that from that point on that I was never comfortable with the word. I'm sure I used it some after, and know I tolerated others doing so a lot, but am also certain I was one of the first in my group to develop an aversion and ultimately revoke the word that was as common among us as peanut butter in my youth...

Lest you think I digress, let me assure you that if you found yourself in a group of the most rabid Perry supporters - God fearing, Bible revering, secessionist patriotic Texans, discussions of which genus and species of dinosaur bunked on the promenade deck of Noah's cruise ship and was tended to by the nicest little nigger or colored boy would raise nary an eyebrow. Particularly once they were comfortable they were amongst their own and not going to be overheard by any of those pointy head college educated liberal elitists. And if they were willing to engage a discussion on the improbability of this scenario, the argument would focus on our obvious misunderstanding of the term "cubit," rather than any question of the possibility that the universe or the earth might be a single day older than Genesis allows, or that mammals and dinosaurs coexisted right up to the big rain. Yep, welcome to Texas.

Truth told, the fact that we elected Bush twice has already soured me almost as much on the whole country as I am on Texas right now. I once said I would live and die in Texas - was actually disciplined in boot camp for refusing to mow bluebonnets - in Missouri! I was Texan first, human being second, American third. Yep, I really said that! Regularly. As a soldier in Uncle Sam's army. Hmmm...

But I've made a vow to myself now that, should Perry be re-elected Governor (he's already the longest serving governor in Texas' history), I will be packing my bags and skedaddling. So yes, I am disappointed in my Tea Party candidates not doing better and expediting the demise of the GOP in Texas. I'm disappointed in Hutchison running such a lame campaign and putting up such a pitiful fight that the resultant damage isn't nearly what it might have been. And I'm sorry that Medina and her teabagging brethren didn't pull off at least a few upsets, which might have kept them in the game a while longer and further muddied the waters. As it is, they'll be like the Perotistas, who voted first in '92 and last in '96 and were never heard from again. Good riddance, I suppose...

On the upside, the Democrats did nominate Bill White by an overwhelming majority, and he is absolutely the strongest gubernatorial candidates we've fielded since the late great Ann Richards back in the early 90s. It was sad and humorous and telling again of Texas, that Palestinian-American Farouk Shami, a billionaire hair-care magnate, threw his hat in the ring, along with a fair amount of cash, and was appropriately trounced by White. Shami, whose family arrived here from Palestine about the same time my nigger tales above were playing out, spoke English very poorly for someone here for more than four decades, an issue with more than a few Democrats and Independents I talked to. And in that period of time, while he may be a godsend to women and their lovely tresses, he obviously absorbed zero understanding of Texas, Texans, or our racist culture. An east Texas Democratic county chair was widely and vehemently excoriated for telling Shami the undeniable truth, which was that it will be a cold day in hell before Texans will elect a brown-skinned man with a first name of Farouk or last name of Shami. Dude, what were you thinking?

So, at the reception following the funeral I attended this afternoon, I had a chance to visit at some length with very successful GOP political consultant who runs state House and Congressional campaigns for candidates on the dark side. He is a good guy and honest, and I'll not expose him. He did tell me, though, that he thought Perry would be unbeatable - a money magnet and the consummate campaigner. He loves campaigning and the fight, and has excellent instincts. Hutchison should be able to attest to that. Once she gets out of ICU...

And he also told me I had every right to be afraid. The mysterious "they," who he would never reveal, are indeed grooming Perry for a step up to the big time. Yes, this would be the same crew, I'm sure, responsible for the eight years of hell we suffered under 43. As my confidante said, you might not just be packing to go out of state, but out of the country.

Sorry, friends, but I've been in Texas too long. Bill White aside, I don't know of anyone in the leadership of the Texas Democratic Party that has the foggiest idea regarding either organization or winning. We've done nothing but shoot ourselves in the foot and get our asses kicked all over this glorious piece of real estate for more than two decades now. I'll keep fighting as long as I can, and hoping against hope. But am going to be picking up a copy of the Rosetta Stone just in case...

Oh, and as a quick note to close the loop on today's title, there is a new group arising on the bright side of the aisle, humorously titled The Coffee Party. I just found out about them last week, have joined, and encourage all of you to at least check it out. Their stated focus is on "civil discourse," which sounds all sappy and kumbaya and whatnot. I am developing the impression, however, that there are some very solid folks coming to the fore in this movement, and that it might actually turn into something meaningful. And while these folks are in some cases angry, they are articulate, educated, focused and dedicated to bringing about the sort of change so many of us worked for in 2008, and which has frankly come up lacking thus far. Not least due to the incivility and shouting from the other side.